I suppose there's a reason I'm still single.
I nicknamed a man "Newfie" this week (image borrowed from Wikimedia). And Saturday night, on our date, I actually explained to him that his approach to dating reminded me of a Newfoundland running at me from across a park field, full bore, forgetting that he weighs 150 pounds and will surely knock me over. Don't get me wrong, Newfoundlands are ADORABLE. I would get one - 150 pounds of pure love and "I wanna be a puppy, don't I fit in your lap" and happiness all bundled in black fur and drool. But if that dog is running at me from across a field, I'm going to do my best to get out of the way and not get knocked to the ground.
And I actually explained this to Newfie. And I thought he understood. Then two hours later, on our 5th date in two weeks and after having brought me bouquet of flowers (for the 2nd time) and a holiday present, he told me he wants to be clear the he is not dating anyone else. WHAM.
Naturally, I freak out. I consulted all the wrong people -- including my ex "Joe College" -- who told me I wasn't allowed to run away. Because this guy is sweet and crazy about me and smart and makes me laugh a lot and lots of good stuff. Probably the best advice I got was "you know, some guys aren't good at dating... and that's a good thing." (Because, really, what prize do you get for being great at dating?)
The advice came a little too late as I'd already uninvited him to something on Sunday. It stung, it was awful, what was I thinking? Clearly I'm not good at dating, but I do seem to do a lot of it.
At any rate, in telling the story to my friends I finally realized three things.
1) It's time to actually share my stories, and perspective, on dating. I'm still single at 37. I started dating when I was 13-ish. I've never been married. I'm not a freak. But I do have nearly a quarter century of dating stories built up, and before my best friend flies out here and locks me in a hotel room for weeks on end I'm going to start telling these stories bit by bit. She thinks they are funny. So this is for her, most of all.
2) I've managed to stay positive and appreciate the humor even in the most unpleasant of it, and making my friends laugh with me is what allows me to continue this. So if I share more, maybe I will be even more positive! So maybe it is for me, most of all.
3) I'm 37. That's prime. So I want it to be the prime of my life. So it will be -- and I'll reflect on my past funny escapades, and hope I get to share the best with a whole lot of people who have no clue who I am.
And I actually explained this to Newfie. And I thought he understood. Then two hours later, on our 5th date in two weeks and after having brought me bouquet of flowers (for the 2nd time) and a holiday present, he told me he wants to be clear the he is not dating anyone else. WHAM.
Naturally, I freak out. I consulted all the wrong people -- including my ex "Joe College" -- who told me I wasn't allowed to run away. Because this guy is sweet and crazy about me and smart and makes me laugh a lot and lots of good stuff. Probably the best advice I got was "you know, some guys aren't good at dating... and that's a good thing." (Because, really, what prize do you get for being great at dating?)
The advice came a little too late as I'd already uninvited him to something on Sunday. It stung, it was awful, what was I thinking? Clearly I'm not good at dating, but I do seem to do a lot of it.
At any rate, in telling the story to my friends I finally realized three things.
1) It's time to actually share my stories, and perspective, on dating. I'm still single at 37. I started dating when I was 13-ish. I've never been married. I'm not a freak. But I do have nearly a quarter century of dating stories built up, and before my best friend flies out here and locks me in a hotel room for weeks on end I'm going to start telling these stories bit by bit. She thinks they are funny. So this is for her, most of all.
2) I've managed to stay positive and appreciate the humor even in the most unpleasant of it, and making my friends laugh with me is what allows me to continue this. So if I share more, maybe I will be even more positive! So maybe it is for me, most of all.
3) I'm 37. That's prime. So I want it to be the prime of my life. So it will be -- and I'll reflect on my past funny escapades, and hope I get to share the best with a whole lot of people who have no clue who I am.
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