who doesn't deserve sweetness?

Apparently, me.

Well, it's not that I don't deserve it.   Of course I deserve it.  But when it arrives by the truckload and seems unending, I just don't know what to do with it.

Newfie is very sweet... yesterday, he sent me a note for our "happy 1-month" since our first date.  I should feel ecstatic that there is a man out there who keeps track, and by-golly he's keeping track for me!  for us!  Instead, I feel a mix of guilt and claustrophobia.  Guilt because he's so crazy about me and I'm off making dates with other men -- even though I've been clear with him that I'm not being exclusive.  And claustrophobia because it's unclear to me if Newfie has anything else going on in his life outside of work and me - and I'm not ready to be someone else's everything.  I did that once already, and it wasn't pretty.

So, really, it's not Newfie who is making me claustrophic.  It's the ghost of Grumpy Pants.