A message from my grandmother

Just a little voicemail from my grandmother a while back, just before I turned 30.  I don't think she called just to talk!

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Hi _____, it’s your grandma.  I’m sorry I missed you.  I called to see how you were and just to talk. 

And also to tell you I heard about this book on television, that you might be interested in.  It’s not exactly the right age for you but anyhow, it says… I think the name of it is “How to Find a Husband After 35” or “Finding a Husband After 35” -- something like that and it’s by Rachel somebody, and she gave like seven different things to do.  But the only two that really hit a bell with me were that you should have an organized approach, that you should look for a husband just like you look for a job.  And secondly, you shouldn’t complain.  Never complain. And don’t ask income.  Those are the three things I remember.   Oh, and it said something about your appearance and stuff like that.  But anyhow those are the three things that really struck me. And the main two, were don’t complain, and organized approach. 

OK, babe, just a thought.  I’ll talk to you another time.  I hope all is well.  Bye bye.

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The funniest part of the story is that she left the same message a second time, thinking that it didn't "take" the first time.  The second message was almost exactly the same as the first... I think she had a script!

I'd love to pretend that I just laughed this off, and ignored the advice.  I really don't focus energy on finding a man like I would finding a job.  But I do try to avoid complaining...  Who wants to be around someone who is dissatisfied with their life?  

My grandmother (in her early 90's) gives me advice all the time.   It used to drive me nuts, but I hate to admit (now) that some of the advice is kind of useful.

The worst advice she ever gave me: "never let a man think you are smarter than he is."  Probably I thought it was bad advice because I assumed she meant "never let a man think you are smart."    

The best advice, which took me years to master:  "ask a man about himself and stop talking about yourself."  The reason is took me years to master?  It took me a long time to figure out that I should date men who I found really interesting, so much so that I WANT to ask them about themselves rather than do the talking. 


Did I say I mastered that one?  Well, not quite... but at least I know the secret! Date more interesting men.

And P.S.  Don't tell Grandma I started listening to her advice.