Joe College was in town again... the 3rd time this year, and it's been a blast having him around. Don't get any ideas - Joe College and I aren't getting back together. We don't even dance around the exsex line. We just hang out, like buddies, and have conversations like this:
Joe College: "You know what I really want? A girl who likes to hang out all the time and occasionally get laid."
Me: "Well, what I really want is a guy who likes to get laid all the time and occasionally hang out."
Joe College: "And there you have it."
At which we both laugh, and remind ourselves why we enjoy being exes.
Joe College claimed a couple of summers ago that I was probably the pinnacle of his dating career... I certainly rank, by a long shot, as the most sane woman he's ever dated.
I recently (sadly) realized that Joe College may be the man who rates the highest on the evolutionary scale of all the men I've ever date. My brother would have to weigh in on that. My brother is the one who created the evolutionary scale. I'm not sure anyone has ever reached upright status yet. But that's another story, another day.
Joe College: "You know what I really want? A girl who likes to hang out all the time and occasionally get laid."
Me: "Well, what I really want is a guy who likes to get laid all the time and occasionally hang out."
Joe College: "And there you have it."
At which we both laugh, and remind ourselves why we enjoy being exes.
Joe College claimed a couple of summers ago that I was probably the pinnacle of his dating career... I certainly rank, by a long shot, as the most sane woman he's ever dated.
I recently (sadly) realized that Joe College may be the man who rates the highest on the evolutionary scale of all the men I've ever date. My brother would have to weigh in on that. My brother is the one who created the evolutionary scale. I'm not sure anyone has ever reached upright status yet. But that's another story, another day.
Joe College earned his name easily enough - my dad dubbed him after a brief visit to my hometown (for a football game, not so much about meeting my folks). His most memorable accomplishment that trip was teaching my friend's husband to open beer bottles with his wedding band. My friend may never forgive me.
Joe College and I met when we got fixed up by uber-sexy Jewish/taken Drummer Boy and my friend back when I lived in the midwest (the same friend that I met through Pockets, oddly enough). My friend and Drummer Boy simply plotted to bring together two nice Jewish people. Even though I was a mature, let's-settle-down-31-year-old and he a 27-going-on-15-year-old, we found enough in common over Bloody Mary's and brunch with Drummer Boy and his shixa girlfriend to justify another date. And then another, and then another... and pretty soon it was 10 months down the road, we'd had some fun dinners, he'd introduced me to Big 10 football, we took a crazy New Year's Eve trip to Vegas, and a final trip to Hawaii.
We both cried when we broke up... there was no horrible fight, no prompting event, just the realization that we were wonderful people who didn't belong together. Drummer Boy had to take the post-break-up call from Joe College, and our other mutual guy friend took my call. Turns out Drummer Boy got the short end of the stick on that one from what I hear.
Joe College just is Joe College, and I hope he always is. He likes telling dirty jokes, drinking too much beer, listening to Howard Stern, checking out hot girls and hanging out with the guys. But I've got a little secret... if you are paying attention, that's just the first 5% of Joe College. He's deeply intellectual, thoughtful, introspective, aware of others' feelings, and all the stuff that I would promise not to divulge at a bar when he's hitting on a girl but would anyway. He has a sense of style that we wears with a subdued manner that seems, at first, totally out of kilter with his Joe College image.
[cue Beavis] Dude, I called him sub-dude. heh heh. heh heh..
So now what, Joe College? Well, when we dated I was his Sugar Mama. I made a decent bit more than him and sometimes took the lead on doing the expensive stuff (he was willing to share a hotel room with the other couple in Hawaii... for example... aw, hell to the naw!). These days, he makes about three times what I do, so I get to make him play Sugar Daddy and take me out for fancy dinners when he is in town.
Now he's a 33-going-on-27-year-old. And I will continue tease him incessantly that I'm going to get him back into my bed so I can use him for the 12 minutes he'd last. And ask him for dating advice.
We both cried when we broke up... there was no horrible fight, no prompting event, just the realization that we were wonderful people who didn't belong together. Drummer Boy had to take the post-break-up call from Joe College, and our other mutual guy friend took my call. Turns out Drummer Boy got the short end of the stick on that one from what I hear.
Joe College just is Joe College, and I hope he always is. He likes telling dirty jokes, drinking too much beer, listening to Howard Stern, checking out hot girls and hanging out with the guys. But I've got a little secret... if you are paying attention, that's just the first 5% of Joe College. He's deeply intellectual, thoughtful, introspective, aware of others' feelings, and all the stuff that I would promise not to divulge at a bar when he's hitting on a girl but would anyway. He has a sense of style that we wears with a subdued manner that seems, at first, totally out of kilter with his Joe College image.
[cue Beavis] Dude, I called him sub-dude. heh heh. heh heh..
So now what, Joe College? Well, when we dated I was his Sugar Mama. I made a decent bit more than him and sometimes took the lead on doing the expensive stuff (he was willing to share a hotel room with the other couple in Hawaii... for example... aw, hell to the naw!). These days, he makes about three times what I do, so I get to make him play Sugar Daddy and take me out for fancy dinners when he is in town.
Now he's a 33-going-on-27-year-old. And I will continue tease him incessantly that I'm going to get him back into my bed so I can use him for the 12 minutes he'd last. And ask him for dating advice.
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